Shite Music

So my sister reminded me I started this blog and told me to write more. I have been busy recently finishing my degree but I think I should keep this up. So I’ve crawled back into my room, turned on Fearne Cotton on Radio 1 because that’s always the best place to find shite music. The woman has an overwhelming record collection of over 7 tracks.

What do I hear when I turn it on? BLOODY RIP BY RITA ORA AND TINIE TEMPAH!!! (See last post). So I’ve had to sit through crap to hear more crap. While I wait I thought I’d check out the chart, that song is 4th. In 3rd is Carly Rae Jepson… Is it worth me even talking about this? Oh go on then. If you haven’t heard it already here it is:

(Just heard Fearne Cotton say USP Stick - How thick is this woman? A USP is a Unique Selling Point in business terms. Get it right. She also just said tomorrow “we have a really exciting day in Hackney”…)

Back to Carly Rae Jepson; She’s trying too hard to look like Zooey Deschanel. Don’t even try it girl, she’s mastered that girl next door look already. Find your own look.

OK, here’s my number… call me maybe? Firstly, that’s a bit desperate? Secondly I’ve got beef with the video, here’s how I see it… So she’s trying to impress him by being a dick on top of a car, trying to look sexy (which she’s not because I keep saying to myself she’s just an ugly Zooey with a dodgy face), he looks over, she falls off, knocks herself out?! Then she tries to pout/kiss him when he helps her up, she gently pushes him against the car and walks off into the house to get changed.

This is where shit gets silly though. THE WHOLE FUCKING BAND WERE ALREADY THERE READY TO PLAY A GIG TO THIS ONE GUY SHE FANCIES IN THE GARAGE?! As if he’s waited there the whole time for her to get changed! Women take hours to get ready, he looked like he had something important going on in his car which needs fixing, he’s not got time to hang around for her!

GIVE ME A BREAK FOR FUCKS SAKE!

Let’s just hope she’s another Rebecca Black. The last we’ll ever see of her will be in a Katy Perry video about geeks… I hope!

REALLY?! Music has got to the point where we have to get reality tv show celebs to appear just to sell a festival?! Does anyone really care? Of course there will be some fickle wankers that are into watching posh twats but do what? Are they going to go up there and sing? Or maybe re-enact a scene from the show that’s supposedly real life?

Sorry, but what a load of bollocks.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a few good acts up there, like Rizzle Kicks for example or maybe even Leona Lewis (if you’re into that sort of thing) but if anyone can explain why these posh hits are there, please let me know.

PS Sorry for the video quality, I didn’t upload it.

The thing that bugs me most about music at the moment is dodgy sampling. It just ruins the original song. This one in particular brings nothing new or exciting to the table, so WHY FUCKING DO IT?! Ok, it’s not as obvious at Jay Z and Mr Hudson sampling Alphaville’s Forever Young but still, this is wank. For the record, I didn’t actually mind Jay-Z’s version.

There’s a part in the pre-chorus clearly sampled from the Soundcloud link below. Listen to the Chase and Status remix of Nneka’s Heartbeat. Quick note to the producer of RIP, to Rita Ora and even Tinie Tempah; LEAVE GOOD SONGS ALONE!